I started smoking weed in seventh grade, I got introduced to it by my sister. I started smoking twice a week, I went out in my backyard like after my mom would go to sleep and the way I smoked was out of a tin foil pipe, just homemade anything, and I would sit my bed out and I had glow in the dark stars, and after I would go get high I would just trip out. I didn’t think anything of it. Eighth grade went around and I was still smoking nothing that bad. It all started when I went to high school. Ninth grade I went to a whole different high school, I went to Walter Johnson but I was suppose to go to BBC and uh you know I was introduced to a lot of things. First thing I started doing cough medicine like triple C’s and I was still smoking weed on the side and honestly I didn’t think anything of it, it never crossed my mind. I still didn’t have that many friends at Walter Johnson cause I didn’t know anybody and so 10th grade rolled around and I was eager to find people and that’s where everything kinda went down hill for me. I just ended up hooking up with the people that sold drugs and used drugs. From the beginning of 10th grade, I was smoking weed everyday 5 or 6 times a day, in the morning, skip a period or something like that to go get high again, lunch, after school. I was a real competitive swimmer, I was swimming every night, everyday, all year round I’d go to swim practice and I would be high. The kids on my swim team would know that I was high. It didn’t bother me you know I thought I was still going to get the best training I would get even though I was high. And then I would go home and walk my dog and I would be getting high in the back of an alley. I was still using a tin foil pipe because I never had enough money to save up to go and buy myself a real pipe. My mom had find out that I smoked, so she took all my money away in the middle of tenth grade, so I started to resorted to stealing money from my mom and from anyone I could find any money I could get I would just steal it. The stealing money from my mom was a big thing, she like knew someone was stealing money, and I would deny it and say it wasn’t me. I felt bad about it but I was getting high. I started getting drug tested like every 3 months by my doctor and in the beginning I was able to stop, because in the beginning I would know beforehand and I was able to stop and drink a lot of water and swim a lot and get it out of my system so I would show up clean. But after awhile it was so hard to do. I started asking people for their urine who were clean. You know and that’s nasty. You are walking around with a bottle of pee in your pocket just so that you can go and get high later. I started doing that and honestly that rolled around and I knew I kinda had [a problem] like why can’t I stop. At that time I was still smoking everyday like 5 or 6, 7 times a day and I didn’t really see any changes in my swimming. I started smoking cigarettes. I became addicted to cigarettes. With weed it came cigarettes after I got high I would smoke a cigarette. Summer rolls around and I was getting high with my friends and we’re getting drunk, it just wasn’t good. My mom was big on not using drugs and I told her once that I had experimented with it and I told her I didn’t like it which was a total lie. Eleventh grade rolls around and I got my license and I was able to drive and I didn’t want to smoke and I was trying to stay clean just because I was going to get tested. I wasn’t trying to start off with a bad year. It lasted for about 2 weeks and I got right back into it. I was hanging out with my same friends. I was just hanging out with the wrong crowd. I started dealing drugs. I started stealing again. Then I started driving. I would be driving to swim practice and I would be getting high while I was driving, posted up in a parking lot getting high. I would come late to swim practice high and I would leave early to go get high. I would tell my coach that I had to go do something and I would be in a dark parking lot getting high with a tin foil pipe, smoking weed. In the middle of eleventh grade I would be sitting in the parking lot depressed out of my mind, sitting there just like what am I doing. I didn’t even want to smoke I was already high as can be and I didn’t want to smoke anymore but I still just put it to my mouth and would get high even more. At that time I was like man I have a problem but I wasn’t about to go tell somebody that I had a problem, I was going to keep smoking. In my eyes I was having a good time. My grades weren’t that great but I could have cared less. Swimming was alright. No one knew that I was getting high. Only the people I smoked with only and most of the people I swam with. The one thing I hated was I would meet an adult and there would be like I am such a good kid and in my mind I would be like these people have no idea what I am doing, I am stealing, selling drugs, smoking weed everyday. I am high right now while I am meeting you. It was just a lifestyle that I thought was so cool. And it’s not cool anymore. My first real big consequence was my mom had tested me because I had walked out on a drug test for my out patient no no I think she had asked me because something had happened and I told her that I am addicted to drug I am addicted to marijuana. And so I told her that night like everything about like me using drugs and then the next day I ended up being suspended for 2 weeks for being high in school, which I mean I was high in school everyday. I was known in my school as the weed head and for like dealing drugs and stuff. They said that I couldn’t come back to Walter Johnson unless I would get myself into a program so I got into a program. They give you 30 days in the program to get yourself clean before you have to show up negative. And so I thought to myself I can get clean real quick so I’ll just keep smoking and so I was smoking and I couldn’t stop. I was still hanging out with the same people and it was just maybe about a month later oh before that I started drinking. I started buying 6-packs of beer at school and then going home and sitting in front of my computer and drinking it. Getting drunk by myself, like playing a game and talking to people online. I did that for maybe like a week straight. I ended up like I was hanging out with like the biggest drug dealer at Walter Johnson. Him and I about to go smoke, everybody had already gone off to class and we were about to go and we were sitting in public, rolling a blunt and we just got jumped by a bunch of undercover cops. And we just got our asses kicked I didn’t know what was going on. I honestly thought that we were being jumped and we got arrested right there. We went to the jail and you know I thought right as I got arrested crap, I honestly first thing I was thinking about was what is my mom going to say. I am not going to be able to get financial aid in college. You know because now I just got arrested. They ask you have you ever been arrested and you know we went to jail and I got all that and I was just. You know that night I had my out patient and the lady said that you know I actually told her that you know I have to go to rehab. I need to get sent away. I knew that was the best thing for me. Since they brought up the idea and I wasn’t about to put it out there and be like yeah I’ll go to rehab because that’s like no. Three days later I was in rehab. You know the time I was in rehab was probably the best thing for me. It was probably the best thing I could have done. It needed to be done. The first two weeks I was in rehab I just thought that I would get by this and get it all done. The more time I spent in there it really just opened my eyes up and my mind got cleared and I just realized what I was doing to myself and my family. I was ashamed of the things I was doing. I was stealing from my mother. I used to brag to my friends about that and they were like how could you do that. I lied about everything to my mom even things I didn’t need to lie about. I was just so used to lying that things came out of my mouth like right off the top of my head. You surprise yourself by the people that you are hurting indirectly. You don’t think you are hurting them but just your actions and behavior. I was mean to my sister. I didn’t want to do anything. I would say to myself that getting high was my number thing, not school, not swimming, not my friends, nothing. I came out of rehab and I wanted to change, I really wanted to change I wanted a better a life for me. Just recently like about 2 months ago I realized that I had to drop my best friends, like kids that lived around my neighborhood that I had grown up with and I associated with them before using drugs, which was probably the hardest thing for me. But I realized that if I’m trying to get myself clean then I need to do this. They used drugs, they sell drugs, later on I will find myself friends who don’t use drugs but now I can’t associated with people who are using drugs. Right now I am getting myself straightened out I am doing a lot better then I was when I was using drugs. I came out of rehab and people said that I looked like 100 percent better. I didn’t understand what they were saying. They said that when I was using drugs I just had this like depressed face I didn’t have any emotion in my face. And now I am just like a more brighter person, I guess.

I go to an out patient program in Arlington. I started 3 times a week when I came out of rehab and because I have been doing so well I have slowly been cut down to one time a week now. I go for an hour and I go to Narcotics Anonymous meetings 4 or 5 times a week. I have a sponsor and I talk to people that are clean, people that have been off drugs for a good amount of time and I have a few friends that don’t use drugs so I mean I am still building my friendship over with people because it sucks not having friends and giving up your best friends. But you got to do what you got to do to get by. So I am in a program right now and I am attended NA meetings.

It’s a lot better. The lying thing was like the biggest thing for me. I lied to my mom even when I was little. I don’t know why but I told her what she wanted to hear and I though that if I did that it would be fine. Once the truth came out after I lied, my mom couldn’t trust me anymore and the trust thing with my mom was a big thing because I guess that is the biggest thing in a relationship being able to trust the other person. You want that in a friendship, you want that in a relationship you want that in a lot of things with another person and I didn’t have that with my mom. She couldn’t trust me. As much as I acted like I didn’t care, I did care. But now I can tell the truth and I don’t need to lie. You know sometimes I still think about like should I lie to her but like there is like no point why would I need to lie to her about it. It is a lot more easy to tell the truth about things because when you tell the truth you have nothing to hide. I have nothing to hide now I don’t use drugs, I don’t steal I don’t sell. Before I had a big secret to the world and no one would know.

You got to choose your friends. It’s more about the people you are hanging out with and what you want to be in life or what you want to do in life. You know like some kids are able to smoke and not become addicted or have negative consequences like I did. If you are having negative consequences and your grades are slipping and your behavior is changing you need to get a reality check, you need to talk to someone. It is mostly about your friends. The choices you make with your friends and what you want to do and if your friends are doing bad stuff and you are not trying to do that, you are going to end up doing that. It is easy to say you got to make the right choices but sometimes it is hard for people because it is just the surroundings that they are in. Some people may grow up where everyone around them is smoking weed, their parents, their brothers and sisters. Find an outlet for yourself. Go to the Rec center. Go find something you enjoy. Go to the CD store. Go find something where you have an outlet to get away. For me weed was my outlet, that’s how I got away and that is probably the worst outlet you can pick.

I don’t need drugs. I used drugs to numb myself to numb how I was feeling. I learned that anything that comes my way I got to accept it. There is going to be so many bad things that are going to come my way and so many good things and I just have to learn how to accept it. Acceptance is the key thing. People are going to say things to me and people are going to do things to me and I just got to deal with it. There is nothing that I can real do about it because that is just the way people are. I have learned that I cant change the way people act towards me. The only person I can change is myself. You got to remember that the only person you can change is you. As crappy as people are going to act, that’s just them. You got to do it for you.

If you are using drugs right now just think about what you are doing. It’s not the end of the world if you are using them right now but if you are trying to have a better life for yourself give up that stuff. It’s not easy if you got a problem but the hardest thing to do is ask somebody for help. When you ask someone for help it gets a 100 times easier. If you have somebody that uses drugs and you are worried about them, you should tell them just cause for them to know someone else cares about them means a lot.